If Raj and Simran from DDLJ were my clients
After completing a few sessions, Raj and Simran discovered their love language and observed the initial changes they experienced after getting married and settling in India.
Presently, they are facing concerns that many couples encounter after being married for two years. On one hand, there is societal pressure regarding when they will have children, and on the other hand, the spark between them has slowly started to diminish. Raj and Simran were also going through a similar situation.
During the therapy session, when they expressed these concerns, we began working by using these 3 techniques.
The first one is "The Good Recap Stage," where we discussed their relationship's beginnings, the small gestures they made for each other, the time they spent together, and the little joys they experienced.
In Raj and Simran's case, we talked about their Europe Trip, breaking their fast together during Karwachath, Raj remembering the bell Simran liked, and their ability to communicate through eye contact.
By revisiting these memories and sharing them aloud, the couple feels validated and heard. These cherished memories are no longer confined to their thoughts; they are now out in the open. This exercise helps the couple rekindle their spark and recreate the enjoyable dates they had during the initial stages of their relationship.
The second aspect is "The Planning." Here, we discuss the couple's goals for each other, breaking them down into three-month, six-month, and one-year durations. We explore various aspects such as career, finance, bonding activities, and individual self-care.
This process enables the couple to consider each other's desires and plan together. It also provides an opportunity to discuss having children and how they envision balancing their personal lives.
Raj and Simran planned to revisit Europe again and they want to start saving towards it. They also decided to start complimenting each other every day so that they feel the importance in each others lives.
The third focus is on "Communication." We create a space for Raj and Simran to understand that any issues they face are not Raj vs. Simran, but rather, "Them vs. the issue." Instead of blaming or lecturing each other, we encourage inclusive language using words like "we" and "us."
This approach fosters better communication, reduces feelings of victimization, and encourages discussion rather than arguments. It also enhances listening skills. By approaching societal pressures as a united team, the couple can address them more effectively.
We explored these techniques during the session, and Raj and Simran found them insightful.
What are your thoughts on these techniques? Which one do you find most appealing?
Read Part 1 : https://www.psychoflakes.com/post/raj-and-simran-s-relationship-journey-a-therapist-s-perspective-part-1
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